Comedian.Actor.Writer

Posts tagged “Mark debonis

On tour So far… and a dream invention I had…

I have been on the road now for a couple weeks and have done some awesome shows, met some awesome people and eaten some good food.

Here is a quick story about last night in Grande Prairie. I’m trying to sell my album on tour which is not going well. I hate selling my own stuff. After the show I sold zero, and walked around the casino that the show is in. Met a guy in the crowd we started talking and he gave me $20 to gamble for my album. I let it ride and lost it all. 

Twenty minutes later a cowboy named “Chance” came to the table who is a local legend for saving 4 horses that got lose during a rodeo. Anyways he sits down and introduces himself to me, only if I know what would happen in 5 minutes. Five minutes later he drops his wallet and I’m like “hey man you dropped your wallet” he picks it up and is like “No good deep goes unrewarded” and he gives me $25. I let it ride and lost it all. 

That is my story. it’s sad I know. 

But every now and again I have a dream about some sort of invention and this is one I had a couple weeks ago. It is the IPHONE RAZOR pretty much is what it sounds like, you plus it in to your phone and it uses the vibrate on the phone to turn the razor on. Iphone Ravor

Anyways there will be more updates and dreams soon… Hope you enjoy.

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Money is Time… in a restaurant!

I was in a fast food establishment recently and noticed they had a sign that said “Sit time 20 minutes”.

That means I have 20 minutes to eat my food and leave, so  I was thinking I paid around $8 which is an average price  at a fast food place.

$8 bought 20 minutes sit time. So if you are ever curious about how long you can sit for while eating here is a chart I made for how much you money  you need to spend to stay in a place for a reasonable time…

eating

 

This sucks cause i’m a 60+ minute guy, with a $7 budget.


TIME IS MONEY!!! (In Comedy)

    Every once in a while someone will ask how much a comedian makes for a show and is shocked at the response, they are amazing at how much someone can make for really little to no time in their mind. I too found this pretty cool until I had the pleasure of taking the bus to a gig last night and when I am not just angry for no reason that I am on the bus, I am thinking. So I got to thinking about the gig I was doing and the age old question “Is it better to drive to a gig, or take the bus”. 

 So I started doing some number crunching and everything I did is from Google Maps and is best case scenario, meaning no traffic, no walking, no looking for parking, no waiting for buses, no bus break downs, no crazy people.

So let’s say I did a show at A University last night and made $250/30mins. At first glance that’s pretty good, $500/hour can’t complain, but there are for sure better gigs that I have been to, but this is the number we are dealing with.

 Now the annoying part (according to google maps)

DRIVING:

From my house: 31 MINS/ 1 way to gig (X2) – 62/mins there and back

62 mins(driving time) + 30 mins (show time) = 92 mins (total time)

250 (show budget) / 92 mins ( total time) = $2.71/min X 60 (1 hour) =

162.68 (per hour)

THIS MEANS MY $250 GIG FOR 30 MINS WAS ACTUALLY:

$81.34.

Gas (this is where is gets tricky number wise):

My Car Miles Per Gallon 17 City – 24 Highway

According to Google maps York is 25.6 km from my house (1 way)

25.6km / 1.6 = 16 miles ( my car is good for 17 Miles city so we are pretty much using 1 Gallon)

3.78/litres in a Gallon

3.78 X 1.35/L (gas) =$5.10 / one way

RETURN $10.20

250-10.20= 239.80 (Thats still $2.60 Per min with 92 mins total time) 

Parking

Free street parking. $0

Image

BUS

Google maps: From my house 1 way is 73 mins (X2) – 146 mins Return home.

146 mins (travel time) + 30 mins (show time) = 176 mins (total time)

250 (show budget) / 176 (total time) = $1.42/min X 60 (1 hour) = 

$85.22 (per hour)

THIS MEANS MY $250 GIG FOR 30 MINS WAS ACTUALLY:

$42.61.

BUS FARE

Bus fare is $3 each way $6 Return.

$250-6= $244 ( that’s $1.38 per minute with 176 mins total travel time)

 

So…….

Driving after gas and everything you are making: $2.60/ min – $156/hr $78/30min  

Bus after bus fare and all you are making: $1.38/ – $82.80/hr $41.40/30 mins

 I am not sure how confusing all of this is, like I said it popped in my head and started thinking of it, but the numbers (if they are right) don’t lie, driving is better with gas and everything by almost double. There are always other factor’s that can go for each side. Bus you can drink, downside you can spend your pay cheque in the bar. Bus you can write a whole new act on the crazy people that are out there. 

 In the end I think it’s best to do what everyone does already and just be friend someone who has a car and offer them $5 for gas, but if you believe that time is money, get a car. 

 


**THIS WHOLE MESSAGE WAS WRITTEN BY MY LEFT HAND** Not to brag or anything but I am a ambidextrous(3 tries) typer. But thats not why I do this, I do this so I can let people know what is going on so my small talk can be cut down. Cause if you think of it all a “Blog” is, is just small talk, no one is changing the world on Word Press. So I will begin the conversation here and when people are like “hey what do you have going on?” I will be like “check the blog”– But after reading this questions should be like  “hey how was that show you did” or “good luck there, Mark”… So in short blogs are the small talk of the internet, or actually the internet is the small talk of the world…

STAND UP

So this is whats going on, I am currently on a 9 college tour with Comedy Records, that has been amazing so far we are in the East Coast and have done 2 shows already. Venues are crazy and audiences are good. Next week we will be in New Bruinwick and finish off in PEI. Also I entered the World Series of Comedy and got in, so Sept.16th I will be flying from Moncton to Vegas to hopefully get passed a couple rounds, the grand prize is 52 weeks of club work in the States which should be pretty good. I will be staying in a room with Eric Andrews so it should be good either way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOT COMEDY

We have officially launched the club and I could not say thanks enough, the first show was sold out, and the second week was not but the audience’s were there and it was a awesome crowd, we are in our 3 week this week and its our first 4 show weekend, and happy to say we have Rob Mailloux headlining and Mike Rita MCing. We have launched the process we will be doing for comics to get stage time who are not booked on the show, so lets say Ossington will have a couple comics walking about with flyers… The thing that I personally can’t wait for is Sept. 21-22 because that is the day we film the first episodes of The NEW STAND UP COMEDY SHOW that will be filmed for national tv which will have 18 episodes featuring 54 comics and will be filming till about January, the shows will be free for the tapings!!! More info to come soon Twitter: @lotcomedy

FILM/TV

So last year I was in a movie “Picture Day” and I was pumped to hear that it got in this years TIFF and not only that but the movie has been blowing up and is featured in the top 12 must see of Tiff. I myself have never even been to TIFF so I think that a good first appearance would be in a movie there.

Twitter: @itspictureday Here is the Trailer http://picturedaythemovie.snitchpictures.com/ ———-

Well thanks for reading and hopefully see you at some shows, or something, and remember this whole thing was written left handed, no big deal. Love, Mark


August is here…

Hey everyone so its August and that means a lot of stuff, summer is ending cottages are packed and a made up long weekend.

In all this mess there is a lot going on in the comedy world this month, at least with me.

I have a couple things that I am starting, apart of and continuing.

 

 

Aug 14th I am in the 3rd annual Pilot week, that is held at Comedy Bar its a free show and will be at 930pm. The pilot that got picked is “The Porn Therapist” which is about a student who just graduates from med school and can’t get a job in his field due to a “shady” past, his only hope is to start a business with his free-lance porn writing room mate…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also I am happy to take part in Funny Man Presents; Which is a show with a crazy line up that will make for an awesome show which will be Aug 17th..

The 25th of August will be the Grand opening of “Stand up @thelot which I will be co-running with Garrett Jamieson our opining night is going to be crazy we have Ryan Belleville headlining Jeff Leeson hosting and  party that is going to be insane!!! Follow us on Twitter @lotcomedy

 

 

 

Come out to this Aug 25th 10pm $12/ticket or 2 for $20!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Lastly is a monthly show that has been going on now for almost a year and its just been getting crazier and crazier so make sure you come to the Twitter Gong Show Aug.28th and you will see stuff you have never even thought of, I promise that much… Follow us ono Twitter @livegongshow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That is all for now and I will think of a blog to blog about until than, please like share and spread the word. Its going to be a crazy month

 

@themarkdebonis

 


This week in Da Loop…

Hey people so the NXNE fest was awesome shows were packed and we got some good footage. The Gong show went over well for the most part, it took people a while to understand what was going on but when they did it was good. Anyways this week there is a lot going on and Facebook will get annoying so I am just going to post here and if you happen to read and re post that will be amazing. 

So this Wednesday is The weekly show I do at La Revolucion 10pm $2 Taco’s -Line up TBA

Thursday is the Start of a new Monthly show I will be doing in Scarborough at the Loaded Dog, this show will be a special event its the first BADFELLA’S of Comedy show we are doing in Ontario, 5 shows in Ottawa and Montreal that had sell out’s and now Scarborough. That will be 7pm at the Loaded Dog Warden and Lawrence 

Friday is the BADFELLA’S in Toronto at the Comedy Bar 8pm $10

Saturday is BADFELLA’S London Ontario 10pm $10 Big League Comedy

Sunday is the grand opening of the New WEEKLY SHOW I am doing at the Monarch Tavern. Line UP TBA show time 9pm

Thanks for reading and hopefully see you around.

ImageFollow me on Twitter @themarkdebonis 


I hate blogging but want you to look at my web site

I think its pretty obvious that I am not a man of the printed word i feel like blogging is a new way for people to talk and I think we have enough ways as it is (cell phones, videos, paintings and good old fashion talking). I feel like we are creating all these new languages in a way where some people speak them better than others, like text messaging for example, before you had to speak Italian to your friend to trash talk some one in front of you but now, you can all be speaking english and text your friend about how stupid this guys face is and he has no idea. In the end all I am saying is I am still trying to figure out English so until that is good don’t expect me to have  crazy blog about thoughts that I could just tell you in conversation. But please check my site out and what ever else I am doing,

love

Mark

Twittergongshow May 29th The Rivoli

My shows are updated so hopefully see you out there 

don’t forget to check out www.twittergongshow.com 

4th episode of Hashtag http://youtu.be/cERScA-Jvqo


This week in Calgary

I have been in Calgary now for 3 days and I have found out the secret to success, its time travel. I have decided that I am going to spend 1 month in Toronto set up all the work I have to do and than start traveling back in time. Calgary is 2 hours behind so that is an extra 2 hours of work, if I go back another 2 hours that 4 extra hours of work etc. I believe that if I tap into this properly I am on to something huge.

Also In the mall I saw a lady projectile vomit which was gross, a baby was staring at me and walked into a chair, and got into a fight with a waitress cause this was trying to tell me a sandwich nick name is “sammy” . All in all its been a good time, shows have been amazing thanks to Derek Sweet and James Moore both sold out shows. Tonight I am at Jupiter Lounge and Chris Gordons show. Thurs-Sat I am at Laugh Shop –

Next week in Toronto I am pumped to be part of The Most Races show on Earth April 14th Markam Theatre

Make sure you check out for updates to the Twitter Gong Show which is April 17th – cause we will be reviling the New web series “#HASHTAG” also the Twitter Gong Show official website that has all the update’s and you will be able to watch the show there, as well as video’s web series and a lot more…

Stay tuned for more updates and stupid thoughts, before I leave here is a line from a movie that i made up in my head:

OPen on a small town with old mentallty and the “town bully” is a 6 ft male with an attitude problem. Claude moves into the town and the “bully has a issue with this”

Claude is waiting in line and the bully Leonard cuts in front of him

          CLAUDE

hey man I am sorry you just cut in front of me in this line

Leonard

you must not know who I am.

CLAUDE

you must be the town genius

everyone in the place starts “wooing”

END


Mark’s Bully

So first things first, I beat up Mark. This is his bully Titus Galloway, and I’ve got some things to say.

As a professional bully and part time employee at The Gap, I have noticed that babies think that they are cooler than they actually are, like when I started and was getting 4 hrs a week, they put me in the baby gap (sounds gross I know) section and I see these babies rolling in on there stroller with a lean on, and I’m like baby please, do you know what I can do to you, and they are all like “oh I need these bell bottom jeans” and I am like baby what do you need bell bottom jeans for? and they are like none of your beeswax.

Well Mark is coming to so I have to go beat him up again, also he said something about he updated his website and there are new shows and info somewhere.

TITUS


First Blog Of 12.

First of all what is a blog, its the year 12 and I have no idea what I am doing I came across this computer and a comedian named Mark DeBonis left some words on paper, here is what it said:

Dear World,

How have you been? I have been alright, just got passed the holidays and it was good for family and all but bad for comedy- There was no shows for a long time, and the ones I did were nothing to write home about. I understand the irony of this cause I am writing. The Twitter Gong show #3, was a mini success again, but more for the “behind the scenes” stuff a lot of kinks were taken care off, and January will be packed with shows, it started with a week long trip to New York City which was awesome and followed with opening for Tom Green and headlining all at the same time… I have left a list of dates for comedy shows I will be doing and will try to write to you more oftten Mark from the past,

I love you,

Mark “from the future” DeBonis