Comedian.Actor.Writer

Posts tagged “comedy

Nike “Flushes” The Worlds First Public Restroom Friendly Shoe…

I have designed a new shoe that I am trying to get Nike to see. I think in this day and age they can be a hit.

Let me know what you think, and let Nike know.

shoe

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On tour So far… and a dream invention I had…

I have been on the road now for a couple weeks and have done some awesome shows, met some awesome people and eaten some good food.

Here is a quick story about last night in Grande Prairie. I’m trying to sell my album on tour which is not going well. I hate selling my own stuff. After the show I sold zero, and walked around the casino that the show is in. Met a guy in the crowd we started talking and he gave me $20 to gamble for my album. I let it ride and lost it all. 

Twenty minutes later a cowboy named “Chance” came to the table who is a local legend for saving 4 horses that got lose during a rodeo. Anyways he sits down and introduces himself to me, only if I know what would happen in 5 minutes. Five minutes later he drops his wallet and I’m like “hey man you dropped your wallet” he picks it up and is like “No good deep goes unrewarded” and he gives me $25. I let it ride and lost it all. 

That is my story. it’s sad I know. 

But every now and again I have a dream about some sort of invention and this is one I had a couple weeks ago. It is the IPHONE RAZOR pretty much is what it sounds like, you plus it in to your phone and it uses the vibrate on the phone to turn the razor on. Iphone Ravor

Anyways there will be more updates and dreams soon… Hope you enjoy.


4 Reason’s why you should not read my blog.

Everyone is making lists on line so I figured I will make one also:

1. I don’t know how to blog.

2. I never read over my work.

3. I am not one for lists.

4. This was going to be 10 reasons but I lost interest after 3.


I hate blogging but want you to look at my web site

I think its pretty obvious that I am not a man of the printed word i feel like blogging is a new way for people to talk and I think we have enough ways as it is (cell phones, videos, paintings and good old fashion talking). I feel like we are creating all these new languages in a way where some people speak them better than others, like text messaging for example, before you had to speak Italian to your friend to trash talk some one in front of you but now, you can all be speaking english and text your friend about how stupid this guys face is and he has no idea. In the end all I am saying is I am still trying to figure out English so until that is good don’t expect me to have  crazy blog about thoughts that I could just tell you in conversation. But please check my site out and what ever else I am doing,

love

Mark

Twittergongshow May 29th The Rivoli

My shows are updated so hopefully see you out there 

don’t forget to check out www.twittergongshow.com 

4th episode of Hashtag http://youtu.be/cERScA-Jvqo


This week in Calgary

I have been in Calgary now for 3 days and I have found out the secret to success, its time travel. I have decided that I am going to spend 1 month in Toronto set up all the work I have to do and than start traveling back in time. Calgary is 2 hours behind so that is an extra 2 hours of work, if I go back another 2 hours that 4 extra hours of work etc. I believe that if I tap into this properly I am on to something huge.

Also In the mall I saw a lady projectile vomit which was gross, a baby was staring at me and walked into a chair, and got into a fight with a waitress cause this was trying to tell me a sandwich nick name is “sammy” . All in all its been a good time, shows have been amazing thanks to Derek Sweet and James Moore both sold out shows. Tonight I am at Jupiter Lounge and Chris Gordons show. Thurs-Sat I am at Laugh Shop –

Next week in Toronto I am pumped to be part of The Most Races show on Earth April 14th Markam Theatre

Make sure you check out for updates to the Twitter Gong Show which is April 17th – cause we will be reviling the New web series “#HASHTAG” also the Twitter Gong Show official website that has all the update’s and you will be able to watch the show there, as well as video’s web series and a lot more…

Stay tuned for more updates and stupid thoughts, before I leave here is a line from a movie that i made up in my head:

OPen on a small town with old mentallty and the “town bully” is a 6 ft male with an attitude problem. Claude moves into the town and the “bully has a issue with this”

Claude is waiting in line and the bully Leonard cuts in front of him

          CLAUDE

hey man I am sorry you just cut in front of me in this line

Leonard

you must not know who I am.

CLAUDE

you must be the town genius

everyone in the place starts “wooing”

END


Mark’s Bully

So first things first, I beat up Mark. This is his bully Titus Galloway, and I’ve got some things to say.

As a professional bully and part time employee at The Gap, I have noticed that babies think that they are cooler than they actually are, like when I started and was getting 4 hrs a week, they put me in the baby gap (sounds gross I know) section and I see these babies rolling in on there stroller with a lean on, and I’m like baby please, do you know what I can do to you, and they are all like “oh I need these bell bottom jeans” and I am like baby what do you need bell bottom jeans for? and they are like none of your beeswax.

Well Mark is coming to so I have to go beat him up again, also he said something about he updated his website and there are new shows and info somewhere.

TITUS


Twitter Gong show Success!!!

 

Hey everyone, so this is my monthly have assed update- so too start off we did the twitter gong show and it ended up being awesome. pretty much sold out and everyone had a good time between live tweets and the acts on stage- i think it actually worked out too a certain point. The whole show ran off “winging it” cause we also had no idea what was going on but its safe too say there will be another run hopefully alot smoother.

 In other news I went to Montreal for awhile and ended doing a good run of shows which is always a fun time but this time was the first show i was booked on as a feature and it was the “BadFellas” show was was Massimo, Guido Cocomelle and Me. The show ended also being awesome and we are looking to cut a demo and take this show on the road- Its a show with Italians but little to know Italian material, so i am pretty pumped about seeing how this pans out.

Either and that, there is a bunch of shows coming up in September I am looking forward too and co-producing two of them so hopefully see you out there and stay tuned for updates on new shows, clips and other stuff.

 

 

thanks

mark


2 posts 1 month!!– New show ” Twitter Gong Show”

Hey guys I know how crazy this is but i am just letting you know that i am starting a new show, its a TWITTER GONG SHOW, its pretty straight forward- The act is on stage and there is a live twitter feed to decide when they get gonged- I will be hosting and there will be 3 Judges Matt O’Brien- Garrett Jamison– Rob Bebenek. There will be more updates soon but for now follow us on twitter at Twitter Gong show  so you can be apart of the gonging– if interested in being on our first show email us at twittergongshow@gmail.com— more info at Twitter Gong show Kind of Official Page. Thanks Mark

 

 


My once a month blog are you pumped..

Hey so i realized i only do this once a month, only when i update my shows so ya there is not much i gotta say just this week I will be on XM radio with Ben Miner, check that out AND the Laugh Off will air Saturday I believe, not sure what time sorry. So check out the show listing and also click this link to more details about shows that I will be producing this month

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=227150610639325

thanks cowboys and aliwomen


People may actually read this(but probably not)

Hey everyone whats going on, I have realized that i suck at blogging and probably will never be good at it, but that does not bother me i will have to find a new way to keep in touch with who ever comes across this site mostly by accident. My Blogs are either too long or dont make sense so until i find a new form of talking to you i am just gonna let you know about a couple media things i will be apart of for the next couple week-

June 3rd i will be on Daytime Toronto on Rogers TV airing at 10am-3pm-12am

June 9-20th I will have an ad in the Now Magazine promoting my website, shows and MDB services

June 30th-July 7th I will be on XM Radio with Ben Miner

More Details to come with all and until i find a better way I will just talk to you in person like humans used too do.