Posts tagged “Comedian

My once a month blog are you pumped..

Hey so i realized i only do this once a month, only when i update my shows so ya there is not much i gotta say just this week I will be on XM radio with Ben Miner, check that out AND the Laugh Off will air Saturday I believe, not sure what time sorry. So check out the show listing and also click this link to more details about shows that I will be producing this month

thanks cowboys and aliwomen


People may actually read this(but probably not)

Hey everyone whats going on, I have realized that i suck at blogging and probably will never be good at it, but that does not bother me i will have to find a new way to keep in touch with who ever comes across this site mostly by accident. My Blogs are either too long or dont make sense so until i find a new form of talking to you i am just gonna let you know about a couple media things i will be apart of for the next couple week-

June 3rd i will be on Daytime Toronto on Rogers TV airing at 10am-3pm-12am

June 9-20th I will have an ad in the Now Magazine promoting my website, shows and MDB services

June 30th-July 7th I will be on XM Radio with Ben Miner

More Details to come with all and until i find a better way I will just talk to you in person like humans used too do.


hey people here is the link to my dvd page on face book and ticket info is there



Hey so this year i won the Yuk Yuks Great Canadian Laugh Off. It was held at yuk Yuks Downtown Toronto or also known as the “SuperClub”. The whole experience was something i have never been apart of before. I was really happy just too make it too the finals, cause the comics that were there are all amazing. The thing i hate the most about the whole process is that we have to stay in the venue all day until show time, its like starring the beast in the eyes, but not in a way where you can show confidence by facing the music and over coming but in a way where the best is watching you from home on a tv screen, but really its not even there its out doing whatever a beast would do all day until the times comes that they have to go to a comedy show that night. What i am trying too say is the beast is the crowd, not the venue. Either than all the waiting and the new saying I heard 1000 times “Hurry up and wait” i have no complaints the whole show from start too finish as awesome, and my set was nothing i would be ashamed off. When ever i write i joke i have points where i would like too get laughs and most of the time those points are not hit, but sunday i am confident too say that every point i wanted to hit got hit.

As you may or may not be able too see i really dont look too happy in that pic, and too be honest with you i dont know what i am in that pic. All i know is, I was using all my brain power not too pass out, cause it almost happened. After the show there were lights, and cameras everywhere and people talking and waiting and just having a good time. I was happy too meet all the judges which hopefully one day will remember me and keep the momentum going in my career. Anyways i am still trying too figure out this whole blog system and how to get a good blog going so for the 3 people that read this thanks and for all the others i will see you in real life.

Also I would like too add that the poster is done for the DVD and we are now in motion with promo and setting everything up all we can do now is see you June 4th at The Hardluck Bar in Toronto 812 Dundas street


Pod cast will be recorded Monday.april.11th

DVD is booked for June. 4th

DVD Tour May 25th-28th

Web Series in Production

Stand UP clips To Be uploaded..

Once upon a time, when my jokes were thoughts #1- The Gym

So after about 4 years I had to go back to the gym cause I told myself if i ever weighted more than 230, I would have to get back in shape. So 2 years of being 240 and a girlfriend in the picture, I

finally went back. I am not gonna lie I really dont know if I am a fan of the gym anymore, the people in there are people I really cant stand or just dont understand. My size adds to the expectation

that people have for me when I walk in, its a constant competition in there, who can lift the most weights, the fastest and loudest. I have realized that I have no interest in becoming a body builder

a long time ago so I have no interest in having biceps, so curling 60+ pounds is really doing nothing but giving me a head ache. And at this gym I am at they have a sign up board for the cardio

equipment, which to me makes no sense, cause if i walk in and there is no one on the machine I am pretty much gonna just use it, I dont need some person who decides to grow a pair of balls to tell

me too get off “their” machine cause they put there name in marker on a white board an hour ago, and I am ruining there routine by being there at that point of time. And than you have the people

who just have way too much time on their hands, or just enjoying showing off that that are well off and have nothing else to do, cause I was at the gym and me and this guy walk in at the same

time and I go straight to the machine and he does straight to the mats and starts stretching (which i am aware its something that should be done and i have maybe never done it before) I continue

my exercise and do everything i planned on doing, I like to finish with a little cardio so i go back in to use the machines and this guy is still stretching. I could not believe it, I mean who has an

hour and a half to just stretch, you know. Like I am a person with little to nothing to do on a daily basis but that is a joke, unless this guy’s sole purpose of the gym this day was just too stretch,

than at that point he is just showing off his stretching abilities cause he could of just stayed at home, but in that scenario the people at the gym could not go home wishing there were as flexible as

this hipster pretzel. It was at this point I wish I was the type of person who was able to just motivate himself in any area, cause I realized how much I hated going to the gym and wished I was able

to work out at home, or just kick the guy in the back and getting credit for it not a record. So now I realize the importance of an ipod in the gym and the ability to have tunnel vision, cause in the end

the guy who see me staring at him in the gym does not think that its a stare of me wanting to kick him, those days are over. Now it seems that its a stare of me wanting to ask his name.


Once upon a Time when my Jokes were just thoughts…

Alright i am gonna try this again, and hopefully keep it up to date. Its gonna be a much SHORTER “blog” about things that at one point in my life was just me stating the obvious, but now is me trying material on people around me. Hope you enjoy,



Stand up in New York

So first off, this was supposed to update this a while ago, but I have had no access to a computer. Also just an update NOT ONE PERSON has emailed me for a power lunch. So lets get on this people.

Well this is Part 2 of the New YOrk experience, all stage talk baby and let me tell you it was rough:

My first show in NY was at Broadway comedy club, licked out and got a spot on the open mic on a Sunday. Now just like any comedy show you go to and know no one, you get bumped.Alot. So I got bumped like 4 spots and finally got on, this was the moment I was waiting for New York, New York the big Apple, stand up comedians dream. I get on and bomb, and this was not just a little bomb it was as bad as it can get with out some one bottling me. I get off and now want to quit stand up comedy cause i felt like a fraud. everything that I thought about this industry was all wrong. So I walk out now with no respect from the audience, and even worse my golden ticket to the other shows; the comedians. No one would talk to me but Garrett who I came up with. Drinking a beer now and thinking my life over, Garrett came over with some news that sparked my passion back alive. In New York there is this spot on the show called the “cheque” spot, and what this means is the bill is brought out to everyone cause there is a 2 drink minimum at comedy shows, so everyone is looking at there bill. This spot is normally given to people who are not liked or in my case people who are unknown. The cheque spot is funny cause every comic has theories about how to and what to do during it, some preform to the girls cause they dont pay (this is what i was told, not my thought) some do material they are working on, and some people just flat out do jokes. In short the ball was not in my court, for that show. Feeling a little better now I try and talk to  comics but the New York attitude is something I do not want to suck up too.

Second show I did was at 4 in the afternoon at a bar called “Bar 82” maybe. Now this was a true open mic where there was only comics and everyone just wanted to get up so they were not laughing unless they knew you or if it was at there own joke. The show was a 2 parter it started off with a “Riff” section than the “Real” show. Met some comics here and had a good time, than went off to another show at the New York Comedy Club. Open mic also and also another $5, at this point we were down at least $20 each due to fees and drink minimums. Now this was the show were I was not mad in the long run for paying to play, only because I finally felt normal again on stage, no audience all comics and a weird but interesting host who’s stage persona is a split personality of him and a murderer(sounds weird but is actually pretty funny) NOw from this show we did what any comic I know does but apparently not a lot in NY and it was leave after our set to go to another show. which was frowned upon by other comics cause we were the new guys and we didn’t care about any one after us, but to be honest I am not performing to watch other people as bad as it sounds. So we left that show and went to ANOTHER that night, thats right 4 shows deep and probably 2 audience members through out the whole night. The last show was on first glance gonna be a disaster but turned out too have a big audience (which we found out was all comics, who we have not seen yet) This show I did not do too well on but Garrett destroyed it for sure. Now we were off for the night and had to find something too do.

Last show I played in NY was a showcase at Broadway comedy club or a agent who I came down too see. I was really nervous cause I had my theories on the New York comedy scene and a lot of them did not play in my favor. I thought that you had to start strong (in a loud and fast tone) and use race, sex, and or drug material with I don’t really have any off, but I do have a couple “Rant style” jokes. I was given mins at this club which I only got on because of a wonderful man named Chris Murphey, and I went on before Rick Vos. I had my set in my head that I was gonna do, and really nervous cause it was the first real show I am doing, not only at a club which I would like to work at one day, and not only one of the most hated comics by the other comics cause I got a spot and they didn’t, but the fact that I was showcasing for a agency that realisticly if I signed with them my life could change a lot. So ya I was scared, I went up and changed my set as I was walking too the stage and made sure the host did not mention I am from Toronto, but he did anyways, and I started talking and it was just like I was back in Toronto, the set went amazing best set I had all week for sure, so I walk off happy with my self and happy that the booker saw me do well. But he did not come and talk to me, he sat and watch Rick and who ever else was on the show, than finally got up to leave and we caught eyes and I went out with him and he said “Good job, let me know when your back in New York”. I was thinking, wow for real thats it I cant believe this, than I started regretting the material I did and was brought down lower than I was when I bombed the first show in New York. Feeling like a piece of garbage I stayed the last day in NY and came back to Toronto not knowing anything but just next time I am there to email this guy so we can meet again.

I eneded up going to New York twice in 2 weeks, and realized 2 important things, I am not sure if I said this in the first blog. But the first thing was “Comics suck everywhere” that was a huge eye opener for me and motivated me to work harder. Second I dont know if its just me or everyone but in my eyes their is no such thing as a good first impression in NY cause everything I did for the first time blew up in my face, but the second it was good. Thats the way I look at my self as a person, first time you meet me your like who is this bum, second time your like “he’s growing on me” than finally your like alright this guy is not too shabby. So I understand you New York, well atleast in my twisted reality I do and too me thats good enough.

Love Mark

New York Squared-Part 1- The experience

Hey guys so i Just got back from New York City the other day, and it was a pretty crazy time. I actually ended up going two weeks in a row pretty much. I went with Garrett Jamison the first trip and we ended up staying at his friends house in Manhattan. Now I know what your thinking place too stay for free in Manhattan, what can go wrong right? Well how about flying in on 2 hours sleep, and trying to rest but finding out that you have too help someone move for 9 hours. Now don’t get me wrong I am happy that we got a tour of the 3 out of 5 boroughs in New York, but moving a whole house was not the way I expected to do it. The attitude is completely different the NYC in my opinion, no one says high or bye you just talk or go, even the ATM machine does not tell you when its done. Everyone is on their own schedule there cause there is so much too do, you don’t have time caring about what other people are up too. The first trip down I ended up doing about 6 shows in 3 days, it was fun but different cause the comedy scene is so big there its close to impossible to meet comics, cause you never see them again. I was describing it to someone like this, every open mic or “booked show” is its own world which is populated by the same people, and these people do not cross over worlds. I only say this cause in the 6 shows I did I only saw 1 comic twice, so it was hard to start a conversation, cause everyone who does stand up knows for whatever reason, if your new too town we dont care about you unless your funny. Now unfortunately this is something that really sucks but  how it is, the normal process is do a show, hopefully do well- see comics from the first show at another show, and than start a conversation, and hope that you passed the insane test for the local open mic comic to have a normal conversation with you. Cause in this business or any business I guess no matter how a person is outside there job, if they are good at what they do they will have the confidence of Fabio if your new to town. So in short, we did 6 shows and pretty much met no comics.

Now either than the shows and big buildings, we did something else that I think NYC may have invented and like to brag about and that is hanging out in Deli’s and Coffee shops. Now if you know me you know that I like to hang out a lot and if you don’t know me, I like to hang out a lot. But this was to a whole new level I came to realize I don’t even have patience to hang out, like I thought i did, the fact that every one is on there own schedule made it hard for me to get into the hang out mood. Imagine having to wait for someone to hang out with them, the whole process is someone I am not a fan of I found out. What we do in Toronto, is amateur hour to New York, and the best thing is no one knows where anything is, if I was oblivious to hate and just being an asshole, I would think its everyones first day in New York. That was 1 of the 2 lines you would get, “Its my first day here” or just nothing at all, Not even a look. But that is New York you know its so big that you dont need to cross over 14th cause there is 30 of what you need on 12th.

Now New York to me was like a movie that you had to watch twice to understand, cause the second time i went it all started making a little more sense too me, I started to understand the beast called NYC. The main thing I realized that made my experience alot easier and better, both on stage and off, is that New York runs off pure intimidation. Now before I get shot or whatever let me explain, everything is so big there buildings, lights,stars, everything. But what I realized is that in so many words comedians suck every where. Now this is not a jab at the comic, cause I understand that everyone is trying to do there own thing, this is more along the lines of, just because someone was born and raised in NYC does not mean they are going to be any better than someone that is born and raised in some small town in the middle of no where, all they got is New York City beside there name. Cause on the outside New York is rock hard, huge and its got a rep, but on the inside its a one stall washroom that you cant even sit down cause the door touches you knee. NOw dont get me wrong there is alot of amazing comics too come out of New York, and still too come, its probably the funniest place in the world, but on that same note, an open mic is still an open mic the difference is do you wanna pay $5 to do something that you tell yourself, friends and family that you love too do, in my opinion that $5 may be what turns a passion to a hobby, cause i love playing pool and the only way i can play is going to a pool hall paying by the hour and playing  couple games also getting that whole pool hall experience.

All in all I understand that there is gonna be alot of things in this blog, that does not make sense, spelled wrong and just flat out ignorant. But hopefully you got one thing from this and it made sense, leave me feedback if its even possible, I am not sure if the comment section is even there. But if it is let me know, and I will put Part-2-Performance up soon.