Comedian.Actor.Writer

Posts tagged “Blog

Nike “Flushes” The Worlds First Public Restroom Friendly Shoe…

I have designed a new shoe that I am trying to get Nike to see. I think in this day and age they can be a hit.

Let me know what you think, and let Nike know.

shoe

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TIME IS MONEY!!! (In Comedy)

    Every once in a while someone will ask how much a comedian makes for a show and is shocked at the response, they are amazing at how much someone can make for really little to no time in their mind. I too found this pretty cool until I had the pleasure of taking the bus to a gig last night and when I am not just angry for no reason that I am on the bus, I am thinking. So I got to thinking about the gig I was doing and the age old question “Is it better to drive to a gig, or take the bus”. 

 So I started doing some number crunching and everything I did is from Google Maps and is best case scenario, meaning no traffic, no walking, no looking for parking, no waiting for buses, no bus break downs, no crazy people.

So let’s say I did a show at A University last night and made $250/30mins. At first glance that’s pretty good, $500/hour can’t complain, but there are for sure better gigs that I have been to, but this is the number we are dealing with.

 Now the annoying part (according to google maps)

DRIVING:

From my house: 31 MINS/ 1 way to gig (X2) – 62/mins there and back

62 mins(driving time) + 30 mins (show time) = 92 mins (total time)

250 (show budget) / 92 mins ( total time) = $2.71/min X 60 (1 hour) =

162.68 (per hour)

THIS MEANS MY $250 GIG FOR 30 MINS WAS ACTUALLY:

$81.34.

Gas (this is where is gets tricky number wise):

My Car Miles Per Gallon 17 City – 24 Highway

According to Google maps York is 25.6 km from my house (1 way)

25.6km / 1.6 = 16 miles ( my car is good for 17 Miles city so we are pretty much using 1 Gallon)

3.78/litres in a Gallon

3.78 X 1.35/L (gas) =$5.10 / one way

RETURN $10.20

250-10.20= 239.80 (Thats still $2.60 Per min with 92 mins total time) 

Parking

Free street parking. $0

Image

BUS

Google maps: From my house 1 way is 73 mins (X2) – 146 mins Return home.

146 mins (travel time) + 30 mins (show time) = 176 mins (total time)

250 (show budget) / 176 (total time) = $1.42/min X 60 (1 hour) = 

$85.22 (per hour)

THIS MEANS MY $250 GIG FOR 30 MINS WAS ACTUALLY:

$42.61.

BUS FARE

Bus fare is $3 each way $6 Return.

$250-6= $244 ( that’s $1.38 per minute with 176 mins total travel time)

 

So…….

Driving after gas and everything you are making: $2.60/ min – $156/hr $78/30min  

Bus after bus fare and all you are making: $1.38/ – $82.80/hr $41.40/30 mins

 I am not sure how confusing all of this is, like I said it popped in my head and started thinking of it, but the numbers (if they are right) don’t lie, driving is better with gas and everything by almost double. There are always other factor’s that can go for each side. Bus you can drink, downside you can spend your pay cheque in the bar. Bus you can write a whole new act on the crazy people that are out there. 

 In the end I think it’s best to do what everyone does already and just be friend someone who has a car and offer them $5 for gas, but if you believe that time is money, get a car. 

 


I hate blogging but want you to look at my web site

I think its pretty obvious that I am not a man of the printed word i feel like blogging is a new way for people to talk and I think we have enough ways as it is (cell phones, videos, paintings and good old fashion talking). I feel like we are creating all these new languages in a way where some people speak them better than others, like text messaging for example, before you had to speak Italian to your friend to trash talk some one in front of you but now, you can all be speaking english and text your friend about how stupid this guys face is and he has no idea. In the end all I am saying is I am still trying to figure out English so until that is good don’t expect me to have  crazy blog about thoughts that I could just tell you in conversation. But please check my site out and what ever else I am doing,

love

Mark

Twittergongshow May 29th The Rivoli

My shows are updated so hopefully see you out there 

don’t forget to check out www.twittergongshow.com 

4th episode of Hashtag http://youtu.be/cERScA-Jvqo


This week in Calgary

I have been in Calgary now for 3 days and I have found out the secret to success, its time travel. I have decided that I am going to spend 1 month in Toronto set up all the work I have to do and than start traveling back in time. Calgary is 2 hours behind so that is an extra 2 hours of work, if I go back another 2 hours that 4 extra hours of work etc. I believe that if I tap into this properly I am on to something huge.

Also In the mall I saw a lady projectile vomit which was gross, a baby was staring at me and walked into a chair, and got into a fight with a waitress cause this was trying to tell me a sandwich nick name is “sammy” . All in all its been a good time, shows have been amazing thanks to Derek Sweet and James Moore both sold out shows. Tonight I am at Jupiter Lounge and Chris Gordons show. Thurs-Sat I am at Laugh Shop –

Next week in Toronto I am pumped to be part of The Most Races show on Earth April 14th Markam Theatre

Make sure you check out for updates to the Twitter Gong Show which is April 17th – cause we will be reviling the New web series “#HASHTAG” also the Twitter Gong Show official website that has all the update’s and you will be able to watch the show there, as well as video’s web series and a lot more…

Stay tuned for more updates and stupid thoughts, before I leave here is a line from a movie that i made up in my head:

OPen on a small town with old mentallty and the “town bully” is a 6 ft male with an attitude problem. Claude moves into the town and the “bully has a issue with this”

Claude is waiting in line and the bully Leonard cuts in front of him

          CLAUDE

hey man I am sorry you just cut in front of me in this line

Leonard

you must not know who I am.

CLAUDE

you must be the town genius

everyone in the place starts “wooing”

END


Mark’s Bully

So first things first, I beat up Mark. This is his bully Titus Galloway, and I’ve got some things to say.

As a professional bully and part time employee at The Gap, I have noticed that babies think that they are cooler than they actually are, like when I started and was getting 4 hrs a week, they put me in the baby gap (sounds gross I know) section and I see these babies rolling in on there stroller with a lean on, and I’m like baby please, do you know what I can do to you, and they are all like “oh I need these bell bottom jeans” and I am like baby what do you need bell bottom jeans for? and they are like none of your beeswax.

Well Mark is coming to so I have to go beat him up again, also he said something about he updated his website and there are new shows and info somewhere.

TITUS


First Blog Of 12.

First of all what is a blog, its the year 12 and I have no idea what I am doing I came across this computer and a comedian named Mark DeBonis left some words on paper, here is what it said:

Dear World,

How have you been? I have been alright, just got passed the holidays and it was good for family and all but bad for comedy- There was no shows for a long time, and the ones I did were nothing to write home about. I understand the irony of this cause I am writing. The Twitter Gong show #3, was a mini success again, but more for the “behind the scenes” stuff a lot of kinks were taken care off, and January will be packed with shows, it started with a week long trip to New York City which was awesome and followed with opening for Tom Green and headlining all at the same time… I have left a list of dates for comedy shows I will be doing and will try to write to you more oftten Mark from the past,

I love you,

Mark “from the future” DeBonis


Twitter Gong show Success!!!

 

Hey everyone, so this is my monthly have assed update- so too start off we did the twitter gong show and it ended up being awesome. pretty much sold out and everyone had a good time between live tweets and the acts on stage- i think it actually worked out too a certain point. The whole show ran off “winging it” cause we also had no idea what was going on but its safe too say there will be another run hopefully alot smoother.

 In other news I went to Montreal for awhile and ended doing a good run of shows which is always a fun time but this time was the first show i was booked on as a feature and it was the “BadFellas” show was was Massimo, Guido Cocomelle and Me. The show ended also being awesome and we are looking to cut a demo and take this show on the road- Its a show with Italians but little to know Italian material, so i am pretty pumped about seeing how this pans out.

Either and that, there is a bunch of shows coming up in September I am looking forward too and co-producing two of them so hopefully see you out there and stay tuned for updates on new shows, clips and other stuff.

 

 

thanks

mark


JFL (Just for Laughs)- New show updates

Last week I was in the Just for Laughs fest, and took part in the Home Grown Competition and placed runner up meaning i got 2 more shows out of it. It was a good experience and i had a really fun time. Dave Merheje won (here is a pic after the show)

we actually were happy just dont take good pics.

It was an amazing line up and was over all an amazing show- I just want to say thanks for everyone who took part and helped out-

I will be in Montreal for another 2 weeks doing the clubs, more updates to come.

also check out the new shows there is updates for my upcoming gigs and here is the link for teh “twitter Gong Show” on send us your talent

Craigslist Ad

 

Just For Laughs 

Thanks

Mark

 


2 posts 1 month!!– New show ” Twitter Gong Show”

Hey guys I know how crazy this is but i am just letting you know that i am starting a new show, its a TWITTER GONG SHOW, its pretty straight forward- The act is on stage and there is a live twitter feed to decide when they get gonged- I will be hosting and there will be 3 Judges Matt O’Brien- Garrett Jamison– Rob Bebenek. There will be more updates soon but for now follow us on twitter at Twitter Gong show  so you can be apart of the gonging– if interested in being on our first show email us at twittergongshow@gmail.com— more info at Twitter Gong show Kind of Official Page. Thanks Mark

 

 


My once a month blog are you pumped..

Hey so i realized i only do this once a month, only when i update my shows so ya there is not much i gotta say just this week I will be on XM radio with Ben Miner, check that out AND the Laugh Off will air Saturday I believe, not sure what time sorry. So check out the show listing and also click this link to more details about shows that I will be producing this month

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=227150610639325

thanks cowboys and aliwomen