Comedian.Actor.Writer

Los Angeles in a Avocado Shell

So I have been in L.A now for almost a week, you would never know being here since the weather is the same all the time so time feels like it stops… Anyways I have decided that I need to do some stuff to pass time. One thing I will be doing is attempting to is write something like once a week. Assuming no one will read it but who knows.

I am was a member of the YMCA until I went the one closest to my place and they told me that since my membership is from Canada I will only be able to use their gym 4 times a month, then I have to pay… So I was for sure not doing that. Went to the local chain here and went in looking for some prices and just to see if they had indoor basketball.

Cut to: In GYM 

I ask the lady at the front desk if they have basketball courts, she says yes; I am thinking “good start.” I then ask how much it is a month, and she tells me to sit down and wait for a member of their team to talk to me about it. Now I am putting myself in a situation I do not want to be in, I really do not want to sit down and talk to someone and be pressured into something I do not want to do. But on the other hand I have no really been talking to a lot of people since I have been here and this will be a good reminder of what a conversation felt like, even though my anxiety was raising cause of the situation I was about to be in, I decided to stay.

The lady shows up goes straight for the high-five right off the top I’m pressured into something, for sure a power move on her end. She asks me to sit down at her cubical desk and pulls out a clip board with what looks like a thousands questions. Her radio is playing and she attempts to lower the volume but it just goes louder, and she leaves it. Realizing that this is going to be a whole thing, I am starting to get pissed but trying to stay calm anxiety is going up and knots for sure are knotting in my stomach.

She starts asking me all these questions and I say to her “Look I’m here just for basketball courts, what is the situation for them?” She tells me they have basketball courts and are open pretty much all day, I am pumped. So I say okay that’s all I wanted to know. She starts having a coughing attack at this point, not covering her mouth and coughing everywhere, while still talking… This is doing nothing at this point for me cause I am not pretty much doing this whole interview without breathing or trying to touch anything. She gets to a question “Why do I want to be here” or something like that, she coughs again…ALOT… but this time she covers her mouth, only to follow it up with “but you are here for basketball right?!” straight for the high-five. Didn’t wash her hand or anything, I am now dead. My stomach is done, anxiety is over the top (Stallone).

Now I am sitting there with no energy in my body, my heart is pounding, I am trying not to breath or touch anything and just get through this. She then pulls out a machine and is like let’s check your vitals… I am like this is not a good time, I had a coffee… Knowing that my heart is done seeing that I have been put through what can only be compared to the electric shock fence they used to do to torture people in the war (Stallone).

She takes my vitals and my blood pressure is through the roof, she tells me it’s very high… While coughing all over the place and how I need to join the gym due to my health. I just agree and try to get out of this whole situation. Finally I am like “Look I am not here for anything but basketball, like I said, how much is this per month… Contracts… start-up fee’s… Just tell me!” I was nice about it though. She tells me and I tell her that I am part of the Y and she is not happy about it, but tells me that if I sign up today I have 5 days to get my money back, but if I did she would cry.

At this point I just want to get out of there, I tell her fine, the price was good and I was able to get out of the Y. So I signed up, went to the bathroom and pretty much chugged hand sanitizer and washed my hands for about 10 minutes.

In the end, I did not get sick, saved money signing up to a new gym and played basketball the next day, which lead to me getting a black eye. But that is for another post.

**sorry about grammar/spelling**

 

 

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