Comedian.Actor.Writer

Once upon a time, when my jokes were thoughts #1- The Gym

So after about 4 years I had to go back to the gym cause I told myself if i ever weighted more than 230, I would have to get back in shape. So 2 years of being 240 and a girlfriend in the picture, I

finally went back. I am not gonna lie I really dont know if I am a fan of the gym anymore, the people in there are people I really cant stand or just dont understand. My size adds to the expectation

that people have for me when I walk in, its a constant competition in there, who can lift the most weights, the fastest and loudest. I have realized that I have no interest in becoming a body builder

a long time ago so I have no interest in having biceps, so curling 60+ pounds is really doing nothing but giving me a head ache. And at this gym I am at they have a sign up board for the cardio

equipment, which to me makes no sense, cause if i walk in and there is no one on the machine I am pretty much gonna just use it, I dont need some person who decides to grow a pair of balls to tell

me too get off “their” machine cause they put there name in marker on a white board an hour ago, and I am ruining there routine by being there at that point of time. And than you have the people

who just have way too much time on their hands, or just enjoying showing off that that are well off and have nothing else to do, cause I was at the gym and me and this guy walk in at the same

time and I go straight to the machine and he does straight to the mats and starts stretching (which i am aware its something that should be done and i have maybe never done it before) I continue

my exercise and do everything i planned on doing, I like to finish with a little cardio so i go back in to use the machines and this guy is still stretching. I could not believe it, I mean who has an

hour and a half to just stretch, you know. Like I am a person with little to nothing to do on a daily basis but that is a joke, unless this guy’s sole purpose of the gym this day was just too stretch,

than at that point he is just showing off his stretching abilities cause he could of just stayed at home, but in that scenario the people at the gym could not go home wishing there were as flexible as

this hipster pretzel. It was at this point I wish I was the type of person who was able to just motivate himself in any area, cause I realized how much I hated going to the gym and wished I was able

to work out at home, or just kick the guy in the back and getting credit for it not a record. So now I realize the importance of an ipod in the gym and the ability to have tunnel vision, cause in the end

the guy who see me staring at him in the gym does not think that its a stare of me wanting to kick him, those days are over. Now it seems that its a stare of me wanting to ask his name.

 

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