Comedian.Actor.Writer

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Is the world ready for Netflix?

And when I say the world I mean myself… I am aware that Netflix has been out for a while now and when it came out it was amazing; tv, movies, documentaries any time of the day! Are you kidding me. But just like anything too much of a good thing is bad, after one year on Netflix you start to build an immunity to it, you are going through mental training in “binge watching” one movie a week turns to two, that turns to 7 that turns to 2 a day. You can never get enough, it’s probably one of the only services that people pay for and forget that you pay every month. After a couple years Netflix was like “hey why don’t we make our own stuff!” Now this is where the problem is in my mind, and when I say problem I mean I have no patience, love closure and really am looking for anything new to watch. This is a bad combination with Binge watching cause when I was a kid a whole season would last like a season, I am talking 12-14 weeks of TV and by the end of it you don’t even care and need a break before the next season started. With Netflix releasing so many 1st season series and we the people having the ability to binge watch it is killing me, cause now what was a whole season of a show is pretty much one episode. And who knows which shows will be made into second seasons. So I now have all of these story lines in my brain with no closure. All I am saying is Netflix better start making some second seasons cause I have a lot of unanswered questions.

This is a picture of showing how Netflix is just as bad as any other drug out there…

addicts

That being said Stranger Things Season 2, Jessica Jones Season 2, The Get Down Part 2 and a bunch others better start making some moves…

Los Angeles in a Avocado Shell

So I have been in L.A now for almost a week, you would never know being here since the weather is the same all the time so time feels like it stops… Anyways I have decided that I need to do some stuff to pass time. One thing I will be doing is attempting to is write something like once a week. Assuming no one will read it but who knows.

I am was a member of the YMCA until I went the one closest to my place and they told me that since my membership is from Canada I will only be able to use their gym 4 times a month, then I have to pay… So I was for sure not doing that. Went to the local chain here and went in looking for some prices and just to see if they had indoor basketball.

Cut to: In GYM 

I ask the lady at the front desk if they have basketball courts, she says yes; I am thinking “good start.” I then ask how much it is a month, and she tells me to sit down and wait for a member of their team to talk to me about it. Now I am putting myself in a situation I do not want to be in, I really do not want to sit down and talk to someone and be pressured into something I do not want to do. But on the other hand I have no really been talking to a lot of people since I have been here and this will be a good reminder of what a conversation felt like, even though my anxiety was raising cause of the situation I was about to be in, I decided to stay.

The lady shows up goes straight for the high-five right off the top I’m pressured into something, for sure a power move on her end. She asks me to sit down at her cubical desk and pulls out a clip board with what looks like a thousands questions. Her radio is playing and she attempts to lower the volume but it just goes louder, and she leaves it. Realizing that this is going to be a whole thing, I am starting to get pissed but trying to stay calm anxiety is going up and knots for sure are knotting in my stomach.

She starts asking me all these questions and I say to her “Look I’m here just for basketball courts, what is the situation for them?” She tells me they have basketball courts and are open pretty much all day, I am pumped. So I say okay that’s all I wanted to know. She starts having a coughing attack at this point, not covering her mouth and coughing everywhere, while still talking… This is doing nothing at this point for me cause I am not pretty much doing this whole interview without breathing or trying to touch anything. She gets to a question “Why do I want to be here” or something like that, she coughs again…ALOT… but this time she covers her mouth, only to follow it up with “but you are here for basketball right?!” straight for the high-five. Didn’t wash her hand or anything, I am now dead. My stomach is done, anxiety is over the top (Stallone).

Now I am sitting there with no energy in my body, my heart is pounding, I am trying not to breath or touch anything and just get through this. She then pulls out a machine and is like let’s check your vitals… I am like this is not a good time, I had a coffee… Knowing that my heart is done seeing that I have been put through what can only be compared to the electric shock fence they used to do to torture people in the war (Stallone).

She takes my vitals and my blood pressure is through the roof, she tells me it’s very high… While coughing all over the place and how I need to join the gym due to my health. I just agree and try to get out of this whole situation. Finally I am like “Look I am not here for anything but basketball, like I said, how much is this per month… Contracts… start-up fee’s… Just tell me!” I was nice about it though. She tells me and I tell her that I am part of the Y and she is not happy about it, but tells me that if I sign up today I have 5 days to get my money back, but if I did she would cry.

At this point I just want to get out of there, I tell her fine, the price was good and I was able to get out of the Y. So I signed up, went to the bathroom and pretty much chugged hand sanitizer and washed my hands for about 10 minutes.

In the end, I did not get sick, saved money signing up to a new gym and played basketball the next day, which lead to me getting a black eye. But that is for another post.

**sorry about grammar/spelling**

 

 

2016 in the (breast) pocket.

After the recent un-success of my last album “Mind Pockets” I have decided to take it to the next level and sell merch related to an album that no one really cared about. I’m talking pockets, straight up breast pockets. I have sold a good amount of them after shows and will continue to keep selling them, they are home made (my grandmother who insists on making them and will not lett me help) and can attach however you please I am thinking magnets though. They can be bought at shows for a price which is decided by you. I know you will enjoy them cause who can’t use a little extra pocket space.

Nike “Flushes” The Worlds First Public Restroom Friendly Shoe…

I have designed a new shoe that I am trying to get Nike to see. I think in this day and age they can be a hit.

Let me know what you think, and let Nike know.

shoe

On tour So far… and a dream invention I had…

I have been on the road now for a couple weeks and have done some awesome shows, met some awesome people and eaten some good food.

Here is a quick story about last night in Grande Prairie. I’m trying to sell my album on tour which is not going well. I hate selling my own stuff. After the show I sold zero, and walked around the casino that the show is in. Met a guy in the crowd we started talking and he gave me $20 to gamble for my album. I let it ride and lost it all. 

Twenty minutes later a cowboy named “Chance” came to the table who is a local legend for saving 4 horses that got lose during a rodeo. Anyways he sits down and introduces himself to me, only if I know what would happen in 5 minutes. Five minutes later he drops his wallet and I’m like “hey man you dropped your wallet” he picks it up and is like “No good deep goes unrewarded” and he gives me $25. I let it ride and lost it all. 

That is my story. it’s sad I know. 

But every now and again I have a dream about some sort of invention and this is one I had a couple weeks ago. It is the IPHONE RAZOR pretty much is what it sounds like, you plus it in to your phone and it uses the vibrate on the phone to turn the razor on. Iphone Ravor

Anyways there will be more updates and dreams soon… Hope you enjoy.

Link

Album Taping/ B-Day Bash!

imageAlbum Taping/ B-Day Bash! (Click for Facebook link)

Thursday June 5th:

This is the 3rd Bday bash/ album taping. Come out and have a good time with comics:

Garrett Jamieson, Rob Bebenek and Tim Nasiopolus.

At the Free Times Cafe (320 college st)

shows at 7:30pm and 9:30pm

AND it’s Pay What You Can!

 

Why you don’t make eye contact w/ someone talking to a crazy person.

I have realized there is a chain reaction to making eye contact with someone who is talking to a crazy person. You should avoid it at all times.

1.

SCENE1First you see a crazy person talking to a stranger.

2.

scene2

Next you will make eye contact with stranger and make this face.

SCENE3

It’s the I don’t know face…

3.

scene4.1

Crazy person now get’s off and stranger will tell you everything crazy person just told him/her (which by the way you also heard from the crazy person), and how they didn’t know how to end it. Remember this because you MADE EYE CONTACT! and now are bus friends…apparently.

———————

Hope this will help you on the bus, and remember keep your eye’s on the floor and there will be no unwanted conversation.

 

Money is Time… in a restaurant!

I was in a fast food establishment recently and noticed they had a sign that said “Sit time 20 minutes”.

That means I have 20 minutes to eat my food and leave, so  I was thinking I paid around $8 which is an average price  at a fast food place.

$8 bought 20 minutes sit time. So if you are ever curious about how long you can sit for while eating here is a chart I made for how much you money  you need to spend to stay in a place for a reasonable time…

eating

 

This sucks cause i’m a 60+ minute guy, with a $7 budget.

Check out the new Videos.

So I have been bored and tried to learn how to make cartoons. Here is my (very bad) attempt at one of them!

Screen Shot 2014-03-18 at 4.55.36 PM(click on image for video)

Here is my Blog on Procrastination

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I would of wrote more but I spent all my time making the title.